It was a woman's invitation to join her as she memorized verses from the gospel John. But it wasn't her challenge that rocked me, it was the reason behind me that brought tears to my eyes and had me bowing my head in shame.
She said, in the most humble way, that she wanted to be a Jesus-adorer, not a Jesus-user.
I sucked in my breath as mountains of prayers I've shot out in the last month came back to me. I'm always asking of God, requesting of God, relying on God. And while none of this is bad, what is shameful is that my heart rarely rises to a feeling of honest worship for my Great Father and for Jesus who brought it all for us to have.
The need to reverse this selfish pestering of God came to me in waves. Oh, how I long to reach out to God with a heart that reflects even a fraction of the love he bursts upon me daily.
Daily, his generous blessings are received.... and received... and received. I do remember to thank Him, usually with as much feeling as I give to someone who passes me a dish at the kitchen table.
God, forgive me. Create in me a new heart, one that blesses you, that adores you, that worships you first. First of all and everything.
And, I don't even want to down-grade this quest of mine by calling it a resolution so that it can be cataloged along with promises to eat healthier and publish books or change bad habits.
Ann Voskamp has introduced a powerful idea into my heart that God is using to change the very core of me. I feel it already. My verse this week was from John 1:5 "Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
He shines in me. In me. And He shines in every one of us who has invited Him into our hearts.
Do you want to do this with me? Go on this quest to change your heart?
Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
Image by Devin Young