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Pain to Relate

9/27/2013

A dear friend once unloaded on me, confessed his pain and his many problems. He came to me for comfort and advice and my inadequacy to the situation was horribly upsetting. He'd been involved in things that I'd only read about in books and watched on TV. I offered words like, "You're going to be fine." "God loves you." "I care about you." "You can get through this." But I could tell by the look in his eyes that those words were like putting band-aids on a lethal wound.

I prayed. I asked God to show me what I could do, what I could say, and His answer hurt me. He said I could do nothing. I could only pray for my friend, and show him how God's love never gives up.

What do we do when someone we care about has a problem that we cannot relate to? Sometimes it feels like unless I've been there, unless I've felt the same pain, I cannot completely connect with the torment they go through. I can feel sympathy, but I feel lacking in true empathy. And, often my advice is not what they need and not what they are looking for.

Many months later that same friend came back to me. He'd found God. With God's strength the demons had been defeated and hope found. And he told me something soul-wrenching. He told me he'd decided to be at peace with everything he'd been through, all the bad choices he'd made, and all the evil he'd allowed into his life. He said, that because he'd been through it all he could help others find their way out of their own horror.

It was a moment I will never forget. This man had decided to be thankful for the years of hurt in his life, because it would help him relate to others in need.

I stopped and took stock of my own hurt, pain, hardships, and imperfections and realized that God in all His Goodness could use everything about me for the good of others, if I let Him. Just like my friend, I need to let God have ALL OF ME. I need to have peace with the past and realize that it can't be changed, but that God can use it to guide others to healing.

God, guide us. I know there are things we go through that hurt, sometimes they hurt simply remembering them and we are burned by our shame and sadness. Help us to find peace giving those things to You, letting You use them. For we know that others are still struggling to find their way out of darkness and we dearly long to bring them into Your light.

Photo by Garland Cannon

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Taking You All to the Beach Today

9/24/2013

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If my heart could giggle with excitement, it would be doing that right now as I get bags ready for the beach. We went down there a couple days ago and I realized I'd completely forgotten the sensation of warmth and playfulness that each cresting wave brings up to the sand. The water was perfect and I couldn't stop smiling. Stress melted away and a glorious hope filled my heart.

So now we're off again and planning to spend as much time as possible on these Australian beaches during our travels. We have sandwiches and fruit ready for eating at midday even though we really, simply, want to fill a few hours with memories and fun.

What a blessing! This time, this opportunity, our health, the beautiful weather, and the glorious countryside all seem to combine together and beckon us to fill our hearts with this precious gift from God.

I think I'll take you all with me today. I'll think of the mothers, the workers, the stressed, the grieving, the lost, the lonely, the hopeful, the courageous......all God's children, and I'll pray for God to send you warmth and happiness today. So, keep an eye out for it. God's blessings are around every corner.

And, arriving with each cresting wave.

Photo by Kay Adams

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Java Joy

9/21/2013

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This morning my cup of instant coffee felt like luxury. Yet a few days ago the exact same Nestle brew had only been a life-line to sanity, a mechanism used to cope. This morning my little family woke in the home our new friends, ate breakfast, laughed, and marveled at that feeling...vacation.

We left the outback and made our way up north to the beautiful city of Cairns. We watched as the rugged wildness of the desert land transformed into exotic greenery as we drove to the coast. Cairns is so gorgeous it almost feels unreal. Everyone has flowering trees in their yards and even parking lots are meticulously cultivated and clean.

I've decided that indeed it is vacation time. Even I need some time of rest. So, for the moment, I'm putting away my novels and I'm going to forget about character development and plot progression. I'm going to live. I'm going to fill my heart and soul with memories of this beautiful place and the miraculous friends who invited us to share their home during our stay.

And, I laughed at myself this morning. I poured that cup of instant coffee, doctored it with milk and sugar, and tucked my feet underneath me, savoring each sip. I didn't even check my e-mail or make a single click on Facebook until a few minutes ago. I'm viewing life through the lenses of someone whose only "job" right now is to enjoy, rest, and refill. Even helping with the dishes was joyful tonight, laughing and talking with the sweet lady who has already stole the heart of my little toddling girl.

God is SO GOOD. God is SO GREAT. I have been told that God, as our Father in Heaven, truly seeks to bless us, to provide for us, to bring our lives joy.

So thank you, God, for providing my heart, body, and soul a time of rest. Help me to remmber to enjoy to the fullest all the wonderful things you have provided for me in my life.

Photo by Comedy Nose

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Closing Time

9/17/2013

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I hear "Closing Time" in my head as I get out the bags and boxes and begin to sift through my life. I long ago stopped thinking of moving as a time to dread, perhaps I've done it too much. We came here with three duffle bags...all and everything we should truly need for the next year. But, we've accumulated much more in the last 6 months. I took out the 3 duffle bags this morning and began to look at what we had.

This used to scare me. I remember when I went to Argentina I stuffed 4 dufflebags plumb full of clothes, books, miscilaneous items that I just knew I wouldn't be able to do without...and they were all just for me. Perhaps half or more of what I took to that country got left behind. I didn't need them and didn't have room for them when we left. And you know what? When I left those things behind I felt no sense of loss, only liberation. I wouldn't have to carry them around or keep track of them anymore for they were no longer mine.

Moving. Packing. Throwing away junk. Preparing for a journey. I am doing it all and I hear in my head the words to that song "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Those endings come with sadness, they always do. When you leave behind friends in another country you know there will be little chance of returning and seeing them again until you meet them in Heaven. We all say, "We'll see you again. We'll visit." But the words are said to ease the pain of parting. These are all people who held by baby when she was little and got to watch her take some of her first steps as she learned to walk. These are people who filled our lives with conversation and friendship even though we were foreign.

I know I will make new friends and with God's strength I look toward new beginnings with interest and excitement. I begin to fill up the three duffle bags, leaving behind the items that aren't necessary, trusting that along the way our needs will be provided for. God always does that, you see, and the more I trust in him and stop my worried planning, I find contentment and peace.

So, when the last zipper is closed and the bags placed by the door, I say a little prayer for me, for my little family, and I also ask God to be with all the other people who preparing for their own new beginnings. Hoping that we all will be given wisdom to know what should be left behind and have faith in the things that He will provide.

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Chasing Joy

9/10/2013

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My heart was so full of joy at that moment that I sucked in a breath and whispered, "God, thank you so much for this."

I chase happiness constantly, don't we all? I have many different silly little ways I think I can keep happiness around me like a comfy blanket. I think that my time-saving chores will bring me peace, my clean house will bring me serenity, and that my husband's good mood will restore my own fountain of contentment. So, in theory I should have a life abounding in joy....but that isn't always the case at all.

Today I was preparing my little family to move again. This time we don't have a home we are going to but have decided to go where the wind blows us and see more of beautiful Australia. Yes, I admit, inside I am panicky and trying not to let my mountain of worries explode into a break-down. After all, we are talking about doing all this traveling with a toddler in tow and right now with teething, tantrums, and her furious exploration, toddler times are difficult just in my clean and toddler-proofed home.

So there I was, ironing...not my favorite chore to say the least. My little girl kept wanting to move the ironing board and I kept having to move her and chastise her. I think it was the sixth time I'd had to tell her, "No" and move her away and then it happened. She looked at me with tear-filled eyes and shook one chubby little finger and angrily responded, "No! NO! No!" I stopped and immediately realized how frustrated we both were about the stupid ironing board. It is the first time (and I know not the last time) she has ever said "no".

I shut the door to the room with the terrible ironing board and gathered up my toddler because I needed a hug even if she didn't. Then, when emotions calmed down I sat her on the floor, ready to get back to work. She grinned and immediately started playing her favorite game, "chase". For a moment I thought about how much work waited for me behind that closed door, but then I looked at those sparkling eyes and gave in. We "chased" for almost a half-hour until we were both out of breath and giggling. The sweetest part about playing "chase" with her is that she likes to stop so that I will "catch" her and she can give me a great slobbery kiss.

My heart was so full of happiness I thought not an ounce more of joy could fit in my heart.

And I know, more than ever, that true joy can only be found through God, letting him have my every moment.

Photo by Rigor Mortisque

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We All Deserve True Love

9/8/2013

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God gave us all a time to be quiet and a time to speak. Proportionally, I truly believe in listening more than talking and I love the old saying, "We have one mouth and two ears therefore we should listen twice as much as we speak."

But, I have a hard time listening to stories of abuse and domestic violence. It pains me to hear accounts of marriages torn by pain and suffering, families trying to endure beyond the fear. I hate to hear these stories because the intense suffering of it hurts me, too. These are people who have been injured intimately by the very people who should have loved them completely, unconditionally, and protected them and supported them in life. To me, abuse and violence is one of the clearest examples of just how broken our world is.

I have a daughter. She is beautiful and precious to me. My husband and I want a brilliant, love-filled present and future for her. I just finished a young-adult novel that included a story of domestic violence. This novel, Unclaimed Legacy by Deborah Heal, showed a home with an abused wife and as I read it I thought about some of my dear friends who have been in marriages and homes with this kind of pain. The thought of my child ever enduring such hurt is troubling and I know I will fight to make sure she never does. I prayed about it and realized I already have two powerful weapons to protect her--God's word and a happy marriage. Making God's teaching part of our daily lives while my husband and I continue to love and support each other and care for our beautiful family will help guide our daughter to a happy future.

I believe we all deserve true love and thankfully we have it unconditionally through Christ.

God, as my child grows, help me guide her towards that kind of love.

Deborah Heal is the author of the Time and Again young adult series. I recommend reading her novels and reading her article about domestic abuse at http://deborahheal.com/staying-relevant-but-keeping-violence-in-ya-fiction-under-control/

Enter her giveaway below for a chance to win the complete Time and Again trilogy signed by the author plus a beautiful mug!

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Confessions of a Lost Day

9/4/2013

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I was going to confess, to one and all, that I had a horrible case of the "blahs". Not the blues. The blah's. The I-don't-want-to-think-about-anything-or-do-anything blah's. Gross! Right? Then, I decided not to write about the blahs at all. If I did then everyone would know about the lazy, no-good-done, gray-skied day. And I couldn't do it, because I couldn't stand the thought of seeming less perfect to a single person out there. I'd been slothful, unproductive, and had given in to a fatigue that hadn't been born of hard work or hardship.

How selfish of me. It occurred to me later that admitting our faults is one of the most important feats we can do. I can admit my transgressions, my imperfections and let God help me grow. I can confess them and find sisters and brothers with the same struggles, desperate to find someone help them battle away fears. I can admit to not being perfect, because my change and growth is ongoing until God takes me home.

A dear friend of mine said she gave up on her faith because of happiness. She had bought in to the belief of salvation, saw peace in her own life as she accepted Christ, and then watched in bewilderment as the level of happiness in her life plateaued at a dismal level. She looked around, desperate for answers, for a Christian brother or sister to reach out and say, "It's ok. There is still more to learn, more of your life to give to Christ." but instead all she saw were the perfectly happy faces in pews at church. Feeling like she'd missed some critical element or simply was unfit for whatever gifts of peace were given to those following Christ, she left the church. Thankfully, she returned years later, but for her they will always feel like lost years when she did not have a precious walk with our loving Father.

There is a time for strength, but also a time to be humble. Please, God, show me to be humble. I admit yesterday was horribly unproductive, the house was messy, and I spent hours staring out my window (and at Facebook). The clouds were gone when I woke up this morning and I greeted my tasks with fervor and energy making up for lost time the day before. But, that day of the blah's happened and I gave in to more than I should. Thank goodness God is not done with me yet. Next time I intend on fighting away those gray skies. :)

Photo by Elsie Esq.

So, to my Christian Brothers and Sisters, how would you recommend one to take on the fight against the blahs?

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FACELESS

9/1/2013

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I pressed each number deliberately into the telephone and felt my stomach flip over nervously. I hadn't even heard a voice yet. There hadn't even been a connection and I was already so uncomfortable that I had decided to hate the next 5 min to an hour it would take to finish my business on the phone.

That poor person. I listened to the menu options, pressed "1", listened, pressed "4", listened, then pressed "0"....operator please! Now I was frustrated, uncomfortable, impatient, and still nervous. So, when a tired voice trying to sound perky and helpful came on the line I had to reign in my negative thoughts.

The operator listened to my problems and then re-directed my call to another helpful person who also redirected the call. And I think, everyone reading this knows the song and dance. Eventually I just hung up, tired of hearing them tell me they couldn't help. I put my head in my hands and prayed. "God, what's going on! I need to fix this. Please, help me." Then an image popped into my head. Suddenly those unhelpful voices had faces. Tired faces. Resolute faces. They had hearts constantly pricked by the selfish insistence of others. And, suddenly, my little Internet connection problem looked so tiny in comparison to the need for kindness.

I picked up the phone again, asked God to help me communicate His love, and tried again. This time when the tired-trying-to-sound-perky-and-helpful voice came online I talked to the operator with two thoughts reigning in my head: 1) This person is not responsible for my problems and is only here to help and 2) this person could use some kindness and love.

I communicated my problem and asked respectfully for their help. Even when they admitted to being the wrong person for the job, I thanked them sincerely for trying and also thanked them for reconnecting me. Because I was patient and kind and most of all THANKFUL to these nameless people, one kind young man stopped and really listened to what I was saying. He admitted that the problem with my Satellite Internet was unusual and that they didn't often deal with Satellite Internet users at all. But he buckled down, worked through the system, and fixed it. I could tell there was a smile in his voice by the end of the call. He'd really helped someone. Someone who hadn't yelled or been impatient and had been thankful.

We talk to these nameless, voiceless strangers so often that sometimes we forget that there are always God's children on the other end of the line. It is unfairly easy to be rude or uncaring towards them and yet it is so important that they know their worth. That they know God's love even if it is only shown through our ability to have patience and to be thankful. That was a true lesson learned for me and I hope I always remember to show the person on the other end how much they are appreciated and cared for.

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Miracles Happen Everyday

Pain to Relate

Taking You All to the Beach Today

Java Joy

Closing Time

Chasing Joy

We All Deserve True Love

Confessions of a Lost Day

FACELESS

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