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Let Us Not Be Wasteful (Being a Good Steward of What God Gives Us)

10/24/2014

Do you make money? Have time? Have anything at all? You might not be a millionaire. You might not spend your everyday playing games and sipping drinks on a beach. But you do have something. God gives us things that we are to care for, invest, and help bring forth good fruit.

What are you a steward of?

A steward is a person who protects and is responsible for property, money, etc.

Lately I've given this idea a lot of thought. As a sleep-deprived stay-at-home mommy living on cowboy's wages, I don't feel like I've been given a lot to take care of. I'm not a millionaire. I have almost no time I can call my own. It would be pretty easy for me to say "You know God, I don't think I need worry about using my resources wisely. It feels like I have only barely enough to survive, anyways."

Oh, but that would be a wrong statement.

What did I do the other day when both girls were napping? Did I sleep to refresh myself? No. Did I try and do some writing? Cleaning? No and No.

I played a silly little miniclip game called Bloomin' Gardens. So nothing was gained, no good fruit bore of my immature antics.

I don't think any of us can afford to forget that we are constant stewards of a myriad of things God has entrusted us with. Those blessings that God entrusted us with surround us. They are absolutely everything..friends, cars, money, time, family, children, gifts, talents...the list goes on and on.

And each time we squander what He gives us, we find we have less entrusted.

There is a story about this in the Bible. The master gives each of his servants money to care for while he is away. When he returns he finds that two of the three servants invested his money in such a way that it bore fruit. He gives those servants even more to care for. But the one who took the money and hid it away was given nothing at all. (See Matthew 25:14-30)

Be a good steward. I know I need to be. When I open my eyes I see I'm surrounded by things that can bare fruit. I don't have quiet time, but I do have time to cook and clean. I don't have tons of money, but am still blessed with more than enough to save and give. I don't have sleep, but I do have two precious daughters whose lives I'm entrusted with to shape and help grow into adults that know God.

Nothing God has given me will bear fruit as long as I sit on my couch and play Bloomin' Gardens, bemoaning the fact that I'm exhausted and have run out of patience. How silly of me. How wrong of me. And how much better does life feel when I am a good steward. Suddenly I have more peace, a restful spirit, a joyful heart. Because it feels wonderful to be a good steward. It feels beautiful to be entrusted with blessings that give forth God's goodness to others as well.

What has God made you a steward of?

Photo by Mandy Jansen via Flickr

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The Unfair Loss...Losing a Child

10/15/2014

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It is unjust, unfair, and completely unnatural to have to say goodbye to your child. When it happens your world is ripped apart by the fear and pain. For several weeks after Isabela's death I would go into a panic. It would hit me that I couldn't hold her, couldn't see her anymore and I felt like I couldn't breathe. In the midst of this I couldn't see anything else beyond that hurt and I was so incredible angry.

My daughters, when they were born, were blessed to have many amazing nurses. Among them was a lady my own age with a brilliant smile and such a positive attitude that she could move me to see hope even in the worst circumstances. But beyond the sweetness of her eyes and her determination to love and care for the babies around her, she holds a heart that has experienced devastation. At six months of age she lost her baby girl to SIDS. Then she had a baby boy born three months early the next year. She did bring her boy home and he is now a healthy, rolly-polly two-year old, but she has experienced great tragedy in the last few years. She told me that her heart had its own seasons of anger and a deep sadness, but you would never know it today.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and as I sit here and look back over the last few months, I am struck by just how much God has held and carried me through this great hurt. Though I would never wish such a thing on any person, Monique's loss of a daughter (See picture of Laila above) and fight to keep her son have been a huge blessing to me. Having a friend that intrinsically understood this journey has helped me survive and move forward.

I look back and remember that day that Monique asked us to be a primary nurse (a nurse that always took care of our girls). Even that day, months before we would lose Isabela, God had already established a blessing for us. I love it that Monique chose to be a NICU nurse. One would think she would prefer to distance herself from the work that no doubt reminds her of all she has been through. But instead she chose to become stronger for her trials and use it all serving others.

God, thank you for my friend, Monique. Hold close to you our daughters and carry gently the families who have lost such precious babies.

Amen.

Above photo of Laila, allowed by her mother, Monique

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When You Reap Grief

10/9/2014

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"You reap what you sow." What am I reaping these days? Death, hurt, pain, and so much grief it threatens to choke me. Then my devotional today talked about reaping what you sow and I felt that someone had slapped me in the face.

Really? I sowed this hurt? What seeds did I plant that justifies my awful pain? In the last six weeks I've lost a daughter and my mother. And that horrible question, "Why?" gets whispered to God almost hourly.

And, oh God, I so dearly want to feel near you. But with all this pain sometimes the hurt tears me from peace. Is this hurt something I'm deserving of? Why is it happening to me? To my family? To my loved ones?

But logically I know I did not sow these seeds. I did not create that rare in-utero condition that made my twin girls be born 3-months premature. I didn't somehow give my mother a neurological disease that made her suffer for the last two years. And I had no control over Isabela, my tiny 2-month old girl getting a common virus that her little body couldn't fight.

I swallowed back the tears and stared at the words in my devotional again. "You reap what you sow." and a voice that I usually can't hear beyond the pain, whispered to me. Look deeper, beloved.

Look deeper.

So I did. And I remembered.

I remembered hours holding Isabela close to me, loving her, letting her touch and become an intricate part of my heart. I sowed that seed. I did. I sowed seeds of love and will never have regrets of the time I spent or did not spend with her. I loved her and have memories of her. I reap hurt because of that love, but I also reap a sunshiny part of my soul that knows I gave her two months of life where she knew her mother's arms, smile, voice, and love.

I reaped what I sowed.

There are memories of my mom, too, that fill me with joy for her and thankful for the friendship we shared. I laughed with her, cried with her, shared with her my hopes and dreams and shared my life with her. I have reaped a full and loving lifetime of memories with her. I sowed those seeds of love with my mother and have years of joy to warm my heart even though she is gone.

The tears could be swallowed back no longer and I saw then that we cannot experience what is around us and feel responsible for it all. We do reap what we sow, but we sow among the thorns of life, among the rocks, in the storms and droughts, and also within the good soil.

I know all Christian have these thoughts, wondering if our hurt is the result of God disciplining us. But sometimes things happen as a result of living in this world. For living isn't easy, but there is beauty to be found in the flowers we have sown among the weeds.

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Miracles Happen Everyday

Let Us Not Be Wasteful (Being a Good Steward of What God Gives Us)

The Unfair Loss...Losing a Child

When You Reap Grief

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