For the second time in her little life, my baby girl got down-right sick this week. It wasn’t much in the world of sick toddlers—just a fever and a runny nose. But its been a long road since those nights of newborn baby and having to wake up every few hours to soothe a child. By the time we were two days and two nights into her little cold I was feeling pretty sorry for her…and really sorry for me.
And, I wasn’t the best human being ever.
I had no energy for smiles, no tolerance for jokes, and no acceptance of anything not being done in such a way that might give me extra work or pain.
Suddenly, my thoughts started to revolve completely around me, my exhaustion, my frustration...it was pretty ridiculous.
I was scrubbing dishes and preparing supper with a killer headache from having forgotten to eat that day when my daughter comes up to me and starts crying while tugging furiously at my pant leg.
My first reaction was Oh, MY! I’M LOOSING IT. I took one of those deep breaths that is usually followed by a scream before I looked down at her and saw her.
Rumpled hair, fever flushed cheeks, a nose rubbed red by multiple tissues, and two dark brown eyes filled with pain.
And I knew, that I wasn’t supposed to be worried about me at all right then. Whatever I needed—love, energy, sleep—whatever I needed to be a good mom and wife while getting through this illness, God had provided it in generous measures.
I scooped her up and apologized while nuzzling her warm little neck and feeling her arms clench about about me.
It just took one prayer and my world righted itself again. God, I know you have given me everything I need to do your will and display your love to those around me. Thank you.
How do we forget? Why does it only take one little thing to throw our world off kilter and feel like He hasn’t provided when He is all we need?
I pray that I learned my lesson and next time when I’m emotionally and physically drained I don’t feel like I have the right to become a monster. God has and will always provide me with enough love to be loving.
And, I wasn’t the best human being ever.
I had no energy for smiles, no tolerance for jokes, and no acceptance of anything not being done in such a way that might give me extra work or pain.
Suddenly, my thoughts started to revolve completely around me, my exhaustion, my frustration...it was pretty ridiculous.
I was scrubbing dishes and preparing supper with a killer headache from having forgotten to eat that day when my daughter comes up to me and starts crying while tugging furiously at my pant leg.
My first reaction was Oh, MY! I’M LOOSING IT. I took one of those deep breaths that is usually followed by a scream before I looked down at her and saw her.
Rumpled hair, fever flushed cheeks, a nose rubbed red by multiple tissues, and two dark brown eyes filled with pain.
And I knew, that I wasn’t supposed to be worried about me at all right then. Whatever I needed—love, energy, sleep—whatever I needed to be a good mom and wife while getting through this illness, God had provided it in generous measures.
I scooped her up and apologized while nuzzling her warm little neck and feeling her arms clench about about me.
It just took one prayer and my world righted itself again. God, I know you have given me everything I need to do your will and display your love to those around me. Thank you.
How do we forget? Why does it only take one little thing to throw our world off kilter and feel like He hasn’t provided when He is all we need?
I pray that I learned my lesson and next time when I’m emotionally and physically drained I don’t feel like I have the right to become a monster. God has and will always provide me with enough love to be loving.
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