Category: Stress

But I Want to Right NOW!

6/6/2014

This morning I made the horrible mistake of putting my two year-old's shoes on ten minutes before it was time to be loaded up into the van. Of course in her rational head if Mama puts shoes on her it must mean that it is time to go. So, I had to listen to ten minutes of a toddler's tantrum while I sadly thought it would be so nice if I could just explain to her that it isn't smart to wait 10 minutes sitting in your car seat and that this would be an ideal time to practice being patient. Ha!

But, as I thought about all the life lessons I wanted to teach and tell my precious little girl, I grimaced and suddenly identified with her frustration. After all, even today, right now, I'm impatient. I want to have my babies (I'm huge, hot, and uncomfortable as I get increasingly enormous). I want my husband home with me (I really really miss him). I want to have my life back on my own terms. And I want it all NOW.

Yes, sometimes I do act just as unreasonable as my two year-old.

I'm ashamed when I look back and realize how impatient and silly I have been during certain seasons of my life. Like when I wanted to graduate from high school as soon as possible. Like when it felt like I would never get married or when I just knew it was grossly unfair that I didn't have children yet. And then, when I do get pregnant I spend the last two months wishing I could get that baby out of me and then wishing I could put her back in when I found out how nerve wracking a newborn can be. I suppose I must join the rest of the human race who have always wanted it all and wanted it NOW.

Just making a guess, but I bet God watches a lot of this nervous pacing and angry foot-stomping, shakes His head, and wishes we would listen when He tries to assure us that there is a better timing for what happens in our life, that it will all happen in His great timing, and this would be a really wonderful time to develop some patience.

Yes, He is right.

When will I learn this great lesson? When will it be instilled in my heart so that I might carry around His peace no matter what season my life is in?

In Time. In time.

Because it takes time to truly learn a lesson like this and completely hone such a precious skill. And each time we come across a situation in which we must be made to wait, we will be given the opportunity to grow into that peace.

Ok, since my impatience will not change how fast I get the things I want, I will practice patience. I will practice trust in God to guide my paths. I will practice faith in His promise of perfect timing.

"through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
Romans 5:2-4

Photo by Mindaugas Danys via Flickr

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Not Fearing His Plans

5/12/2014

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I can't count how many times over the years I've called my Mom or Dad for comfort. It was a rough week again. I'm in the hospital. This time it is for a shortened cervix--the only thing that hadn't yet went wrong in this pregnancy. I'm here on bed rest until the babies come and fighting fear with almost every breath. We're only at 23 weeks. My little girls need more time if they are to survive.

So, I'm listening to the ever comforting voice of my Dad yesterday when something he says shoots straight to my heart. "Sweetheart. God has given you these babies for a reason. They are special to Him. They must be. Look at what they have already survived. He has great plans for them."

He has great plans for them. For my unborn babies. He knows their futures. He knows their hearts, the same hearts He's healed, defying all odds.

And when all this hit me, I felt humbled. He is allowing Me to be their mother. He picked my husband to be their father. He has entrusted us with two souls that are special to him.

So I prayed. I prayed for Him to guide me. Help me be the mother these little ones need. Help me not be afraid, because He wouldn't have set this before me if He hadn't known I was the woman for the task.

Funny, isn't it? If you read that verse proclaiming that God has great and good plans for us, you can face any challenge with peace. Peace that the world is just as it should be.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Wherever we are, whatever challenges, tasks, worries, and hurts we face, we can face the great plans God has for us and have no fear.

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God's Olympians

2/12/2014

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I watched that beautiful 15-year-old girl, Yulia Lipnitskaia, skate in near perfection. It took my breath away and even made my eyes fill with tears. Then, after the awe wore off, I recognized a deeper feeling within me that had fanned to life as I watched someone else use a God-given gift to recognize an amazing potential. That feeling was hunger. Because I know I'm not there yet. I'm still training, still learning to listen to His voice.

But the hunger stays and women like Yulia remind me that road to great things are usually long and difficult. We can't give up when we don't get what we want in a week, month, or year and then assume that such dreams were not for us. And we definitely cannot give up when God has given us that hunger. Hunger to be who he has planned us to be.

Even when I was little I had a strong desire to show the beauty of life to other, to express it, to let others feel it the way I did. I've dabbled in sketching, painting, music, and writing. When I began writing novels ten years ago I felt something bloom within me. Like a girl with a secret garden I began cultivating an ability to show life through stories. And I've known ever since that it was God's path for me.

I'm so glad I had a chance to watch some of the Winter Olympics this year. My novel writing has been non-existent since we came home to the States. I've pushed it to the sidelines as I've concentrated on all the rest of life going on around me. But, it is time to get back to it. I'm praying for God to show me ways to find the energy and time to work on those stories. I'm hungry for it. I'm hungry to do the work God has made me to do. He made me to be a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend too and I am ever thankful for how rich my life is.

I think that each and every Christian out there, daily training to listen to His voice and follow His plans, are God's Olympians. That's an exciting thought for me. That in my little corner of the world I can be in God's front line, be the very best at His specific plan for me. And that hunger is ever present, insuring that I strive for excellence, that I strive for a unique potential, a life full of Him.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,
Ephesian 3:20

Photo by The Department of Culture, Media and Sport

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Old Mexico

1/15/2014

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I remember the first time I went to Mexico. I went down to visit my husband's family. We were only dating then. It was before all the problems with the drug cartels and the little border town was alive and swinging. But, back then, on the arm of my boyfriend and armed with only basic Spanish phrases, going into Old Mexico was terrifying for me.

It was a situation marinated in discomfort. I didn't know the language. I didn't understand the culture. I was young, shy, and worried about impressing an extended family that might someday become my in-laws.

That trip was a total of three days and seemed to last a lifetime.

I've went back a few times since then, and each time I've felt more relaxed and a bit more comfortable. But nothing compared to this last trip that we took back in December.

It was... to put it in one word... beautiful. My husband's family was going down to visit and to do some work on a ranch. Since I had the little one to look after I opted to stay only a few days. But it was definitely a precious experience. My daughter got to meet her great grandmother and spend lots of time with aunts, uncles, and cousins. When it came time for me to return to the states I realized that there had been no discomfort, no worries, no fear or thoughts of being insufficient. I had been happy.

What changed? My husbands family had undergone no earth-shattering transformations. The were the same sweet, welcoming people that I've known for years. The little Mexican town was altered, of course, there were new modern stores and other examples of progress on its bright-colored streets. But that didn't account for just how different I felt this time compared all the times before.

I knew though what made this visit so different... it was me. It was a shift in my motives and thoughts. That first time I'd come down all I thought about was me. I thought about how I liked the food, how strange the culture was to me. I worried about whether I was liked or accepted by by his family. All negative and all self-centered.

But this time, this time the trip was not about me at all. I thought about other things, like how precious it was that my husband's grandmother got to meet her great granddaughter. I thought about how sweet it was to share dinner with an aunt and uncle and laugh with them when my little girl ate multiple homemade tortillas. I thought about how blessed my family was to be able to come there.

How much a person can change in eight years is incredible. But, I think all my best changes have come from God. Every time I've struggled, every time I've taken on challenges, every time I've allowed faith to reign instead of fear I've been changed. Surely, I am thankful for every time God takes out his tools of change and goes to work on my heart and soul.

Photo by medea_material

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17

What have you experienced in life that has altered your heart?

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They're Watching

11/4/2013

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I don't know about you, but when I go to the salon to get my haircut I find it difficult submitting my head to the lady with the crazy chopped-up hair-do. Why? Because I think that if I let her start snipping then I'll end up like her.

Its the same thing with adds on TV. If I wear that shirt...I want to look like her. Or, "Surely those pills don't work...look how unhappy he is." And on, and on.

Well, guess what...you are a walking-talking-billboard for the lifestyle you lead.

I heard a story about a lady who became a Christian after ten years of marriage. She found Christ and wanted desperately for her husband to make the same choice. She pushed and pulled. She nagged and bribed. She tried everything to get him to read the Bible, go to church, and be saved.

At each and every attempt she failed miserably. Finally, she stopped trying and started praying. God told her to leave her husband's soul to Him. This lady then started to simply live her Christian life just as God gave it to her. She became happier as she learned to give her worries over to Him and to rely on His strength and guidance.

And then the miracle happened.

One day she was cooking up supper after a long day at work and after having to redirect the poor attitudes of their teenage boys. As she cooked she hummed one of her favorite hymns, praying for her family, and finding peace in the quiet of her little kitchen. "Wow." She heard her husband whisper and looked up to see him watching her. "I don't know how you do it." She stopped and stared at him and said, "Me neither, but I'm thankful."

That Sunday her husband actually drove the family to church. Later he confessed that he'd been watching her for years. He'd thought the whole "being saved" thing was a joke. He said he didn't understand why his wife kept insisting that Christ was wonderful and powerful and life changing. All he saw was an unhappy nagging wife with nothing about the Christian life that seemed worth adopting. But when she'd let it go and allowed God's love and peace to reign, she became positive advertisement for the Christian lifestyle.

I love her story. I think of her and tell myself, "Remember, they're watching.

Photo by Leonid Mamchenkov

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Tidal Waves

10/30/2013

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Everything seems to happen in waves, doesn't it? In life it always feels like the bad things happen all at once--a loved one gets ill, the kids start having behavior problems at school, you lose your job, and the roof starts leaking. Yes, "When it rains, it pours." and sometimes it feels like those waves of grief, stress, fear, and worry will surely drown us before the tides starts to recede.

But there is always those calm seasons in life, and I recently realized that sometimes it is when life it at it lowest level of stress and all is beautiful that we are most likely to have the very poorest of attitudes. Why?

Two weeks ago my husband and I stopped and made camp next to a beautiful lagoon. I woke up that first morning and couldn't wait to get in the clear, shallow, calm waters. We dove in, we played, we searched for shells. And in the comfort of having low tide and a protected lagoon I became less vigilant about my daughter's safety and whether or not the camera would get wet set up at dry sand.

Then, the level of water rose fast. The rocks that held high tide at bay for the lagoon had accomplished their purpose, but the water had started to crash over the rocks with angry bursts. Within an hour there was no more lagoon and in its place was a wrathful, lapping mess of cresting waves. The fun was over.

Just like I relaxed and stopped worrying about the water safe in my calm lagoon, we grow too complacent when things go well. Often that is when we let the little things bug us and our prayers begin to sound like recited anthems instead of sincere talks with our Lord. And when we don't use those quiet spells to fortify our defenses we are left with no rocks to keep the waves at bay.

So, whatever season your life is in, I challenge you to see the big picture. If things are crashing and stormy, have faith that they will not always be this way and that God carries your life preciously in his hands as you travel through high tide. If you are swimming peacefully in your lagoon, make sure you are using these times of low stress to fortify and strengthen your relationship with God so that when the waves start to rise you can feel His presence carrying you through.

Photo by Super Devoika

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Miracles Happen Everyday

But I Want to Right NOW!

Not Fearing His Plans

God's Olympians

Old Mexico

They're Watching

Tidal Waves

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