Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
But God had provided. Here me and my husband had been anxiously going over and over our options, not able to decide where to go or what to do when he graduated from the university and it was only a couple months away. He'd done well, he had a lot of great opportunities, but nothing felt right. Then, when we saw Argentina on the horizon it felt like someone had gently showed how to get out of the maze and onto our life road.
Ok, I was excited and nervous as well, but the peace that we were doing the right thing overrode the other emotions. Even when people told us we were crazy (and only slightly jokingly) I wasn't worried. This was what God wanted for us and we were going.
However, it took only one phone call and my world broke into pieces of uncertainty, doubt, and grief. Some one I loved and cared about deeply, a friend I kept close to my heart, had called me up to bluntly tell me she didn't want me to go. She needed me to stay close. She wanted to see my children be born and watch them grow up. She wanted to have coffee with me and talk about books and go to the movies. And you know what, I desperately wanted all those things too.
Getting on the plane suddenly seemed like a vehicle to broken relationships and hurt friendships.
I didn't talk to anyone about it for a while. But, one day, sitting with a colleague at work I brought it up. I told her I didn't know if I could go anymore. The lady, a sweet friend and Christian seemed surprised, "But you were so excited, so certain about it, just a week ago."
I nodded and bit my lip. "I don't think I'm doing the right thing by my family and friends though. I just don't know anymore."
"Lora," she said seriously. "We all have to make these big decisions. Everyone does. Do you know how God lets us know when we are going the right way? Peace. We'll have peace. But the devil likes to destroy peace with uncertainty. If you have doubts and worries now, they're not from God."
I blinked and suddenly remembered that feeling, that certain peace when my husband had told me about the job. And after some prayer and deep breaths that peace washed over me again. Argentina was the right road.
And it really was. That whole 2-year experience changed my world. It strengthened my marriage. It reinforced my faith and cultivated my personal strength. And all those friendships and relationships that I had then are still intact and even richer as we learned to share our lives over the di.
But I wonder if I hadn't sat down that morning with my co-worker and bared my soul to her, if I would have gone at all. God used her to help me understand what He had been trying to tell me all along.