It is unjust, unfair, and completely unnatural to have to say goodbye to your child. When it happens your world is ripped apart by the fear and pain. For several weeks after Isabela's death I would go into a panic. It would hit me that I couldn't hold her, couldn't see her anymore and I felt like I couldn't breathe. In the midst of this I couldn't see anything else beyond that hurt and I was so incredible angry.
My daughters, when they were born, were blessed to have many amazing nurses. Among them was a lady my own age with a brilliant smile and such a positive attitude that she could move me to see hope even in the worst circumstances. But beyond the sweetness of her eyes and her determination to love and care for the babies around her, she holds a heart that has experienced devastation. At six months of age she lost her baby girl to SIDS. Then she had a baby boy born three months early the next year. She did bring her boy home and he is now a healthy, rolly-polly two-year old, but she has experienced great tragedy in the last few years. She told me that her heart had its own seasons of anger and a deep sadness, but you would never know it today.
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and as I sit here and look back over the last few months, I am struck by just how much God has held and carried me through this great hurt. Though I would never wish such a thing on any person, Monique's loss of a daughter (See picture of Laila above) and fight to keep her son have been a huge blessing to me. Having a friend that intrinsically understood this journey has helped me survive and move forward.
I look back and remember that day that Monique asked us to be a primary nurse (a nurse that always took care of our girls). Even that day, months before we would lose Isabela, God had already established a blessing for us. I love it that Monique chose to be a NICU nurse. One would think she would prefer to distance herself from the work that no doubt reminds her of all she has been through. But instead she chose to become stronger for her trials and use it all serving others.
God, thank you for my friend, Monique. Hold close to you our daughters and carry gently the families who have lost such precious babies.
Amen.
Above photo of Laila, allowed by her mother, Monique
My daughters, when they were born, were blessed to have many amazing nurses. Among them was a lady my own age with a brilliant smile and such a positive attitude that she could move me to see hope even in the worst circumstances. But beyond the sweetness of her eyes and her determination to love and care for the babies around her, she holds a heart that has experienced devastation. At six months of age she lost her baby girl to SIDS. Then she had a baby boy born three months early the next year. She did bring her boy home and he is now a healthy, rolly-polly two-year old, but she has experienced great tragedy in the last few years. She told me that her heart had its own seasons of anger and a deep sadness, but you would never know it today.
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and as I sit here and look back over the last few months, I am struck by just how much God has held and carried me through this great hurt. Though I would never wish such a thing on any person, Monique's loss of a daughter (See picture of Laila above) and fight to keep her son have been a huge blessing to me. Having a friend that intrinsically understood this journey has helped me survive and move forward.
I look back and remember that day that Monique asked us to be a primary nurse (a nurse that always took care of our girls). Even that day, months before we would lose Isabela, God had already established a blessing for us. I love it that Monique chose to be a NICU nurse. One would think she would prefer to distance herself from the work that no doubt reminds her of all she has been through. But instead she chose to become stronger for her trials and use it all serving others.
God, thank you for my friend, Monique. Hold close to you our daughters and carry gently the families who have lost such precious babies.
Amen.
Above photo of Laila, allowed by her mother, Monique
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